Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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