I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
