I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
