Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Acid is not a monday night drug
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
