Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize