Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
