what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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