That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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