I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
