Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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