i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
