I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
