i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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