She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
