; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
