Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
