I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
