You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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