that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize