Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
