You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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