Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
