we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize