My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
