i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
