I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
