The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize