Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I checked into jail on foursquare
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
