Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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