I wish I could teleport
barbara walters just said penis...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
