HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
