I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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