u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I understand Curling. That high.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
