We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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