1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
we have officially lost it.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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