i just had sex bonerless
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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