whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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