She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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