why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
