How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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