I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
