I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
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You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
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I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How naked do you want me to be?
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