I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
