3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Pappa wants mamma naked
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
