The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
