please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
