y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
