Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
