You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
