Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
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its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
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Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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