Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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