I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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