I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
