38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
