Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
