Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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