Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
