the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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