There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis