i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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