I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.