oh fat girl friday strikes again...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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