do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
