Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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