I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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