Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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