At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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