Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
